All Mimsy is the Whimsy
by ambrose.thorn
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a place called Wonderland. It's more like a nightmare now, though. Since Alice Liddell died, the only thing holding it together is memories of the books. Therefore the inhabitants wish to keep the stories fresh in peoples' minds... Some characters are based off of characters that are not mine, but all those in the story were designed by me.
1. Chapter 1

Ambrose Thorn walked into the clearing, dragging his Crystal Rapier in the soft earth behind him. In the middle of the clearing stood Jace Von, Alice Incarnation the Fifth. He was swinging his scythe around, cutting down trees and humming the broken tune of "Alice of Human Sacrifice."

Ambrose walked up to him, clearing his throat. "Jace," he said rather pompously and without regret, "I slept with your sister."

The blade of the hellscythe swung towards Ambrose's face. In an instant his rapier was up in front of him, blocking the other blade's process.

"Excuse me." Ambrose stepped back, memory crystals trailing from the constantly disintegrating and reforming blade of his foil. "She didn't seem to think you would care."

"I don't," Jace said, turning and going back to slashing trees. "It's just a good excuse to kill you without consequence."

He wandered off farther into the woods. Ambrose paused, then followed him into the dense trees.

"So," Ambrose called ahead to Jace, who was stalking efficiently through the trees, "I was sent to invite you to a tea party. In the Hearts Castle. The new queen has found the Jabberwock Knight. After the tea, a joust shall take place in the back garden."

"Who will be there?" Jace didn't so much as turn around while speaking.

"The First, Second, Third, Fourth and, if you come, the Fifth. Also the Hatter and Hare, the White Rabbit and the new queen herself. Plus many of the... others."

Jace finally stopped and turned around. "Very well," he sighed. "I'll see you there." He spun back around and vanished into the forest.

Ambrose walked off, trying to find his path. He was almost hopeless when he saw, pointing due north, a smeared red trail through the leaves and grass of the forest floor. Ambrose grinned. He knew who was behind this, and he could match him in a fight if it came to that. Right now, he needed directions.

Ambrose switched course to follow the bloody red trail of Alice Incarnation the First.

Ambrose arrived in the lair of Corbin Silver after about eleventeen hours' walk. He looked around. The surrounding trees that had not been sliced to ribbons were covered with blood and... other things. Corpses littered the ground, although none were fully intact. Ambrose strolled through the trees, looking for Corbin. "Where are you, Alice?" he called.

Ambrose heard the whistle of a blade behind him and brought his sword up to parry, spinning around to face his adversary as he did so. Corbin was a tall, thin man dressed in a red suit. His eyes glowed crimson, and there was a silver print of a rose on his right glove. In his right hand was his legendary weapon, the Vorpal Blade, a weapon so sharp that it was able to cut through magic itself.

But not all magic, Ambrose thought, grinning and twirling his rapier in a fencing solute.

Corbin slashed the air with the Vorpal Blade, producing a shining swirl of energy tracing where the blade had moved. He pointed it at Ambrose, ready to fight.

Their swords met, sending a wave of magic energy rippling through the air. Corbin slashed and hacked wildly while Ambrose twirled and dodged, landing ineffective blows. Corbin drove his blade home to find that Ambrose's chest had dissolved into memory crystals and parted around his arm. Instead he slashed upward, parting Ambrose's arm from his shoulder and sending his sword flying. It fell to the ground and shattered, turning to memory shards and trickling back into Ambrose's similarly reforming arm.

Corbin moved in for a final blow, but Ambrose ducked and kicked the Vorpal Blade from his grasp. It landed in the dead grass, several feet away. Corbin simply held out his hand, and his weapon soared back into his hand. "Goes snicker-snack," he said tonelessly, holding it over Ambrose like a sacrificial knife. "It leaves them dead..."

As the blade came down once more, it was blocked by the Crystal Rapier. Ambrose had rebuilt it out of his arm. "Let's call this one a draw," Corbin scowled.

"Yes, well," Ambrose said, dusting off his purple suit. "I'm only here to ask you for directions."

"Hmm," Corbin frowned. "I have to get going anyway, so I suppose you can tag along." They started off along the bloody path to the castle.

The two arrived at the front gates of Hearts Castle quite quickly. Their entrance, however, was blocked by two guards, the 3 of Diamonds and the 5 of Spades. "Password?" the 3 inquired.

"Teatime," Ambrose said crisply. "Which, by the way, it almost is. Come along, Corbin!"

They traipsed through the gates and through the central courtyard to see a procession taking place. At its head was Emmily Von, the new queen and Alice Incarnation the Fourth. She winked at Ambrose as she passed, who nodded in reply.

"Oy, you two!" One of the guards had spotted them. "Bow to your queen!"

Ambrose simply ignored the card. But Corbin turned his head, slowly, to look at the guard. "I could sever the magical connection that keeps you alive," he hissed, holding up the Vorpal Blade. "Leave me be, fool."

The stuttering guard backed away, stuttering. As the procession continued, they saw the Jabberwock Knight, Bloody Mary, scowling behind the king.

"Can't get enough, can she?" Ambrose chuckled. "Mary has her own country to take care of, yet she will not forgive the Vons for their takeover of the Kingdom of Hearts. Maybe her newfound powers will lead to some bloodshed."

While Ambrose was chuckling over this prospect, Jace and Emmily were talking. Well, Emmily was talking.

"Jace, I need to tell you... I'm in a relationship with Ambrose," Emmily said cautiously. When Jace didn't respond, Emmily pried, "I need to know whether you're you're okay with–"

"Obviously I'm okay with it, otherwise you'd already be dead," Jace said without a trace of emotion.

Emmily swallowed the rest of her words.

Everyone gathered in the garden at the back of the palace. There was an extremely long table set up there, with enough seats for everyone. Already seated were the honorary guests, the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. The Hatter's watch, as usual, was broken, and he and the Hare were soaking the insides with tea.

Everybody sat down and greeted one another. "I'm glad that we were finally allowed out, Time was very grudging at first!" The Hatter said cheerfully, dumping tea down Ambrose's front. As almost no one knew about his quarrel with Time, he recited the story for everyone's benefit. Bloody Mary attempted to pour herself some tea, looked inside the kettle when nothing came out, and found the Dormouse sleeping in it. She pointed it out to the entire assembly.

"Shameless, wake it up! It ought to be punished, the chopping block will do-"

"You are no longer queen here," Emmily said calmly. She shook the soggy Dormouse. "Be present before your queen!" she commanded.

"What is it?" the mouse said, awakening, then falling back asleep, mumbling the word, "Treacle..."

"You know, this reminds me of a song," the Hatter mused. "It went a little like this—"

"Oh, no," Mary groaned.

The Hatter paid her no mind. "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat," he sang, "How I wonder where you're— Aack!"

Corbin had gotten up out of his seat and onto the table, strode down the length of it, and was now standing at the Hatter's place, exerting a strong grip on his throat.

"I hate that song," Corbin said through gritted teeth, squeezing harder.

"Aughck," the Hatter gasped. Corbin released him. He took in a deep breath, and continued, "Up above the world so high, like a teatray—"

The Vorpal Blade was a flash of silver as Corbin brought it down. It sliced through the air, piercing the Hatter's hand and stabbing through the table. Blood spurted everywhere. Ambrose was covered in it, complaining loudly, "Come on, I just cleaned this suit!"

"Shut up," Corbin advised the Hatter, who looked close to passing out.

"You could've told him before," the March Hare said indignantly. "You really should say what you mean—"

The Hare's head went spinning over the table, showering everyone in more blood. Corbin wiped off his blade on Bloody Mary's dress. "Looks like we're having rabbit tonight," he said softly.

"It was a hare, there's a difference," Ambrose said, wiping blood off his trousers. "Anyway, I think that's enough tea for now."

They processed farther into the back garden, arriving at the entrance to an enormous hedge maze.

"Attention, everyone!" Emmily got up in front of everyone, mounting the stairs to the entrance with some difficulty, due to her enormous dress. She ripped it off, revealing her combat suit underneath, and tossed it to the side.

"Anyway," she continued, "we will now participate in the semi-annual Unbirthday Massacre! Isn't that fun?"

Everyone roared their approval. Corbin did not speak, but his eyes gleamed hungrily. Jace yawned.

"All of our oldest friends will participate!" Emmily pointed out the contestants in the crowd. "Corbin Silver! Ambrose Thorn!" She smiled. "Bloody Mary, our guest from the green country!"

"Hmmph," Mary said.

"And of course, my brother, Jace, and I will both participate," Emmily finished, stepping back into the maze. "Now, if the other participants will enter the labyrinth..."

The other four stepped forward and joined Emmily as they all ventured into the darkness of the maze.

In the center of the labyrinth, there was a throne. The throne had runic carvings in it, engraved at the dawn of dusk. Glowing runes swirled around the throne, matching those on it. On this throne sat a creature. It sat formally, legs uncrossed and hands gripping the armrests of its seat. Yet it slumped, like a puppet with cut stings, its head rolling onto its shoulder and its back relaxed.

It grinned, an eerie, unnaturally wide smile like a jack-o-lantern's, raising his head and seeing without eyes. It spoke for the first time in centuries:

"Wake up, you lazy asses, and get ready. It's time for the slaughter."

One by one, the other forms around the edges of the room stirred. "What is it, Mimsy?" yawned a small girl with a die for a head. "I was in the middle of a game."

"Would you like some candy?" A tall man asked his companion. She nodded, smiling sweetly. "Well, let's go get some," the man said. "Where are our soul-pikes?"

"Right where you left them," answered a young boy. "I'm hungry."

"As am I," a yellow-eyed being in a black jumpsuit replied softly.

"That is enough," the Mimsy interrupted, straightening on his throne. "Are Consonance and Dissonance in the maze yet?"

"Consonance is," said the tall man's companion, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "He is to help the contestants."

"But Dissonance will spread discord for us," the tall man reminded her. "We have a large advantage over them, regardless. There are more of us then there are of them."

"Though that is true, numbers will only truly matter once the Seven arrive," the Mimsy said, tilting his head as if he were curious. "Until then, keep your eyes peeled. You never know what these lunatics might have up their sleeves."

A few of the assembled creatures sniggered. The Mimsy paid them no heed.

"Off you go, then," he told them. "Go kill me some Alices."


	2. Chapter 2

The party of five continued through the maze, finally halting at a crossroads. Three different paths stood before them, blocked by a wispy figure. It was almost like smoke. The only solid part of it was its face, which looked like the smiling mask often attributed to theatre.

"Welcome, contestants," the smoky being said, smiling widely at all of them. "I am Consonance, the guardian of harmony and peace. I am here to see you to the end of this maze. Before you lie three paths." It gestured to the forks in the road. "Two of us will journey down each. I will join one of you on the middle path, for it is the way that I, at least, must take."

Finished speaking, Consonance backed into the middle path and stopped, waiting. Emmily shrugged and stepped forward. "I will go with you," she said simply. Without another word, they walked off down the centermost path.

Ambrose swiveled around and considered the remaining options. "Corbin, come with me," he finally said, turning again. "Right path!"

"Whatever," grumbled Corbin.

Once they were gone, Jace turned to Mary. He looked at her for a second, then stalked off toward the left path. She hurried after him.

"Where are we going?" Emmily asked warily, looking around.

"To the center," Consonance replied, floating forward without pause. "That is where the Ersatz Marionette resides."

"Uh-huh," Emmily said, unsheathing her Lantern Cleaver. It glowed yellow in the shadows of the hedges. "Who or what is that, exactly?"

"I cannot say," the smoky creature said, sounding sad despite its smile. "It has bound me with its Binding Rhymes."

"Ooo-kay." Emmily turned around and started backing after Consonance. "I suppose I'll find out when we get there."

"If we get there," Consonance replied.

Ambrose and Corbin walked side by side, not saying much. They had reached a shortcut and taken it, and suddenly found themselves somewhere completely identical, when—

DONG

DONG

DONG

Suddenly, their path was blocked by two figures: a tall, thin man and his just as tall and thin companion, both holding three-pronged spears. They both giggled when they saw who they were up against.

"Well, looky here," the girl said, sounding amused.

"A couple of businessmen," the man said, grinning. "What are you peddling, knives?"

The maze melted away, and they were all falling. They landed in the entrance hall of an old castle, empty and dark. Ambrose and Corbin got up. Ambrose set about dusting off his suit, while Corbin jumped at their two tormentors, who had landed on their feet. They easily dodged his attack, and Corbin crashed into the back wall.

"Who are you?" Ambrose asked, not angrily but simply curiously.

"We're Trick and Treat," they replied in unison. "And you're the sweet," the girl, Trick, added.

Corbin had been creeping up behind the two, but Treat whirled around and knocked the Vorpal Blade out of his hand. It skittered across the floor, bouncing off a doorway and into the next room.

Corbin abandoned all pretense and jumped at Treat, clamping his hands around his throat. The castle began to melt again, sending the struggling Corbin and Treat into a different area.

Ambrose looked away from the strange, warped image of the courtyard and turned to Trick. "You're in for a treat," he said, grinning at her.

Jace had been going at a steady pace for a long time now, completely ignoring Mary, who was puffing along behind him. She had already followed in Emmily's footsteps and cast off her formal dress, but her combat uniform wasn't helping much as she tromped tiredly along behind Jace.

"Aren't there any challenges?" she panted. Jace did not respond. Mary persisted. "If I had designed this competition, I would've put in something deadly."

"The contestants are deadly enough," Jace said, speaking for the first time since the five contestants had parted ways. "You're only still alive for the sake of amusement."

Mary decided to shut up. She wasn't feeling very bored anymore.

As Consonance and Emmily rounded a corner, they were suddenly in a long, dark corridor, as that of a ruinous castle. They looked back at the path behind them, but proceeded into the castle, albeit cautiously. Up ahead they could hear some kind of commotion going on.

"Leave me alone!" A girl was screaming, her voice drawing closer to them. "It's not like I tried to kill you!"

"Does it seem that I care?" said a bored voice. It was rather familiar.

"Ambrose?" Emmily's heart was pounding. She rushed around the corner, disregarding Consonance's warning of "could be a trap..."

A door stood in her way. Emmily tried to open it, but it was locked. Apparently the girl on the other side had just found that out too, for the knob was rattling wildly as the girl sobbed and Ambrose's footsteps drew nearer.

All of a sudden there was a thud from the opposite side of the door, as if a body had hit the floor, followed by a slashing noise. Something spattered against the door as the girl shrieked in agony. Blood seeped out from under the door. Emmily shuddered. It seemed that Ambrose had caught up to his prey.

"What the hell are you?!" the girl screamed. There was a bang. Ambrose cursed.

"You wish to see? You wish to know what I AM?"

Emmily swept her Lantern Cleaver out of its hilt and swung it at the door, splitting it in two. Beyond the doorway lay a truly horrific sight.

Ambrose stood, or hovered would be a better term, over Trick, who's left leg was laying a good five yards away from the rest of her. Her left eye was ripped out and had been trampled, making the floor a pulpy mess. She held a three-pronged spear out in front of her, whose blades matched the deep scratches across Ambrose's face. Even as Emmily watched, Ambrose brought his rapier down on the shaft of the pike, splitting the weapon in two. Ambrose's lip curled.

"Glass succeeds steel," he said thoughtfully.

"That was a silver-titanium alloy," Trick growled through gritted teeth, tears streaming down one side of her face and blood down the other.

"Whatever." Ambrose shrugged, the slashes on his cheek healing instantly. "Prepare for assimilation."

His form rippled, doubling over and then straightening out, until he was no more than a hulking behemoth made of memory shards, swirling like a living storm. A single eye, piercing blue, shone out of the chaos.

"I am the Crystal god," he said in a booming voice that vibrated like a bellstroke, rattling their ribcages. "I am not a person, not a thing. I am a legacy. Now you will become part of that legacy. Look on the bright side— you will never be forgotten."

And with that, the great monstrosity lurched forward, catching hold of Trick. Her screams died away into echoes as she dissolved into memory crystals, which flew into the storm of ancient memories to be filed away and preserved forever.

Corbin was circling Treat in the castle's desolate courtyard, eyeing him warily. Treat stood opposite him, mirroring his every movement with a smirk on his face. They had been doing this for a while now, and Corbin was getting restless.

"Hey," Corbin said, taking out the Vorpal Blade. "I'd like you to meet a little friend of mine... Stabby." He stepped closer to Treat, who looked wary, but did not back away.

"And why am I supposed to be afraid of a kitchen knife?"

"Do you know what they called Stabby in the ancient legends of Wonderland?"

Treat shook his head.

"The Vorpal Blade," Corbin answered himself easily. Treat's eyes widened.

"I'm out." He turned and started to scramble away. Corbin followed him with his eyes. As Treat began to fade, attempting to escape, Corbin slashed down with the blade. Instantly Treat became solid again. "Wha—?!"

"Useful to have a blade so sharp that it can cut through magic," Corbin said, stepping toward Treat. His huge shadow hid the spill of blood as he hummed at his work.

Jace suddenly stopped, causing Mary to bump into him. He shoved her away and shushed her when she attempted to protest. "Something's happening," he told her.

They silently walked forward into a large clearing in the hedges. Everything was still for about five seconds, until—

BONG

BONG

BONG

Both Emmily and Ambrose dropped out of thin air, closely followed by Consonance. Emmily and Ambrose had apparently gotten bored, because they were getting very personal with one another.

"Oh, come on!" Jace said, sounding slightly exasperated.

Ambrose stood up, looking around and straightening his tie. Half his hair was sticking out at an odd angle. Emmily hurriedly zipped up her suit and scrambled to her feet.

"Why, hello there," Ambrose said awkwardly. "Ah, didn't see you—"

Corbin came trotting into the clearing, holding Treat's severed head by the hair and interrupted with a cheerful, "I came up with a wonderful poem!"

"Oh, dear," Consonance said suddenly.

Mary looked up. A dark fog was descending on the clearing, obscuring the exits from sight and forcing all five of the Alices, along with Consonance, into a tight circle in the middle. A strange, wispy figure was floating down towards them...

"Hello, fools," the thing sneered at them. It was a darker copy of Consonance, its face a grimacing mask instead. "I am Dissonance, the guardian of discord and chaos. I am here to deliver a message from your great adversary."

"Begone!" Consonance shouted angrily. But Dissonance was already beyond hearing him. It had stiffened, its eyes glowing, then relaxed and melted into a shadowy image of the Ersatz Marionette, grinning out at them from its throne of many tongues.

"Hello, Alice and Alice and Alice and Alice and Alice," he said to them. His voice was distorted and echoey due to the vast amount of space between this apparition of him and his actual location. "And, of course, Consonance. Welcome to my own little version of the Unbirthday Massacre. As you know, you are required to make it out of this maze alive before sundown. The rules, however, have been changed. I have planted my own... agents in this labyrinth and you will all compete against them. In other words, all the Alices must work together, at least until the end."

"The end?" Emmily wondered.

The Mimsy continued speaking as if he could not hear her, but something about its speech suggested it had. "At the end of the day, all the surviving contestants will be part of an every-man-for-himself slaughter. Only one member of each team will be able to exit the maze in one piece. I will see to that." Its hair parted and, for a moment, a glowing eye was visible in the center of its forehead.

"The challenge starts now," the Marionette said, his hair flopping back over his face. "Good day to you, and... happy unbirthday."

Dissonance recomposed, changing back into his wispy frowny self. "Well," it said in a voice that indicated finality. "I'm a part of the opposing team, which means I'm supposed to kill you. Come here, bitch!"

He swooped over them and dived, making a grab for Mary, who dodged and pulled out a long staff. Affixed to the top was a broken sword, the top half missing. It was engraved with a pattern that matched the one on the Vorpal Blade.

"Eat pike, smokestack!" Mary swiped the polearm at Dissonance, who screamed in agony. A glowing slash appeared in its chest.

"Curse!" It swooped away through the maze, shouting behind it, "See you again soon!"

The Alices stood in silence. Then, without a word, they all went their own ways. All except for Ambrose and Emmily, who went with each other.


	3. Chapter 3

The Mimsy "looked" around at its assembled crowd, no longer including Trick and Treat. Dice, the Snake, Dissonance, and the child possessed by It looked up at the creature on his throne. It leaned back, contemplating...

And suddenly it leapt out of its seat, its limbs flopping like a ragdoll. "The sins... they are here." The pumpkin grin lit his face as he stood before them.

Seven people faded into existence in the room: a blonde girl with a smug look, accompanied by a boy who was apparently her twin; a woman in a red dress with a hungry look;

a tall man with a long ponytail whose eyes gleamed violet; a young girl wearing a kimono and holding a pair of tailor shears; a young woman with bags under her eyes; a middle-aged man wearing a judge's robe and holding a gavel; and a green-haired teenage girl holding a revolver.

The judge stepped forward. "The Seven Deadly Sins, at your service. How may we corrupt you?"

"I'm already evil," the Mimsy replied. "I need you to go invade the privacy of some inhabitants of this land. They are in this maze right now. Hurry, for you only have until sundown."

"Hurry?" The tired woman yawned. "We just came all the way from Evillious. Do we need to leave again already?"

"Why should we listen to you?" the green-haired teenager said, suspicious. "Why do we have to take orders from you?"

"We should eat him," the woman in red said, licking her lips.

"Everybody listen up!" The smug girl stepped to the front importantly. "We do it and we do it now. If we do, that's more for the Seventh Circle."

"Aw, don't we have some time for you?" the tall man said, sweeping smoothly over to the girl and smiling.

"Keep away from the queen," her twin snarled, drawing out a long, thin knife. The tall man backed away.

"Don't you have time for me?" the kimono girl asked the tall man as he nearly bumped into her. "Why her?"

"Silence," the Mimsy hissed. "I want it done now, before sundown. Choose one and enter their mind and heart. You may do what you wish with them."

All eight grinned. "Excellent," they stated in unison.

Mary rounded a bend in the hedge maze and found herself at a dead end. Cursing and muttering to herself, she turned around... and saw Jace lying facedown on the ground, snoring. He had, by the looks of it, been sneaking up on her when he had suddenly fallen asleep. Since when was Jace narcoleptic? Mary wondered.

Up above, a ghostly version of the tall man hovered, invisible. He smirked. Interesting situation, for someone to mess with. And down he went, into Mary's heart.

Mary staggered. She had a strange feeling in her gut. She looked around at Jace, who was still snoring. She blushed. There was something endearing about the way he looked when he was asleep...

She leaned over him, looking at his face. In sleep, his usual neutral face was gone; he looked comfortable, even content.

Mary sighed dreamily. Then suddenly it occurred to her that she was acting very oddly indeed. Strange thoughts were creeping into her mind, things she'd never thought of doing with someone before. She leaned forward...

She shook herself. What the hell was going on? Before she could pull herself together, Jace yawned and said, "Hmm...? Are you the masseuse?"

"Yes," she responded without thinking. She facepalmed. "Uh... what now?"

"You give me a massage," Jace said comfortably, without opening his eyes.

"Alright," she said again without thinking. Her hands moved against her will...

Jace mumbled, frowned, then his eyes opened. "Mary?" He seemed to only vaguely know who she was.

"Yeah," she whispered. "Should I..."

"Stay here," Jace told her, closing his eyes and smiling for the first time that Mary had ever seen. "Nice and comfortable."

And so, as time brought intensity, two of the Alices were claimed by the Sins.

Corbin tread the paths of the maze, deep in thought. He had been thinking about the plan that Ambrose had come up with and contemplating possible outcomes, when suddenly...

A sharp pain stabbed at his ribs. He frowned. He never felt pain. What was going on now?

He became angry. Pain did not deserve me! he thought. Go away!

He became even more enraged. Letting out a snarl, he whirled the Vorpal Blade, slicing a bush to shreds. Panting, he turned, looking for a culprit. He scurried away into the darkness.

Emmily tapped Ambrose on the shoulder. "Where are we going?"

"Can't be sure, now that the checkpoints disappeared," Ambrose said. He had a strange feeling. He hadn't been hungry a moment ago, but now...

"Do you have anything to eat?"

Emmily blinked. "What?"

"I'm hungry. Starving. I need to eat."

"I don't have anything to eat."

"Then let's find one of that Mimsy's creatures," Ambrose said, walking forward without a backward glance. "I can eat that."

"What?" Suddenly Emmily was overcome with a strange feeling. "What about me? Don't you care about me? Forget the food!"

"I—" The feeling of hunger had left Ambrose, replaced by a feeling of desire. But not the kind of desire you should have for a person— the want for an object.

"Hmm, yes, you're right," Ambrose said, his tone odd. He turned around and walked back to Emmily. "All I want is you."

"Good," Emmily said crossly. "Now let's go—" She stepped forward, but her path was blocked by Ambrose.

"You can't go out there," he said, his voice concerned. "You'll be broken."

"What do you mean, broken?" She tried to shove past him. "Let me out!"

Ambrose hit her over the head. She collapsed, knocked out cold. "No," Ambrose replied, looking down at her prone form. He picked her up and started walking.

Corbin strode ahead, in a towering rage, when suddenly he tripped over something. He looked around, fuming, and saw something strange enough to snap him out of his anger for a moment. He walked closer, trying to comprehend what he was seeing.

Jace and Mary were lying next to each other on the ground, both asleep. They were in a very awkward position, and Mary's corset was undone. Corbin snickered. They looked like a couple of naughty Victorian-Age college students.

He turned around and continued walking, deep in thought. Why was everyone acting so strangely? Obviously he wasn't, because he was higher than that kind of vanity, but...

He frowned. Higher than vanity? He didn't have any pride to begin with.

"Hmm..." he grumbled. Pride, Anger...

An alarm went off inside Corbin's head. He swiveled around to look at the sleeping sex scene behind him. Sloth, Lust...

"Shit," he muttered, striding over to the Alices on the ground.

"Hey! Get up!"

Mary's eyes flew open. She looked down to find herself partially undressed and straddling Jace. She looked up to see Corbin towering over her, apparently very pissed off. She looked around for a reason to be woken. "Uhm... yes?" she said awkwardly.

Corbin rolled his eyes. "Have you even noticed that you're lying in the middle of a dirt path with your shirt off?"

"What's it to you?"

Corbin seized Mary by the throat, lifting her up to eye level with him. Her feet were nearly three inches off the ground. "Don't insult me," he growled. "I deserve to know..."

Suddenly, something strange crossed his face. He stared through Mary, lost in thought. Tossing her aside, he strode away.

Mary sat up. Her lip was bleeding. She wiped it away, looking at it and wondering what was going on with everyone. She turned back to Jace and shrugged to herself. Nothing better to do.

Ambrose trudged along with Emmily on his back, stopping occasionally to check whether she was awake yet. He had been walking for a very long time, and it was nearing sundown. He could tell that he was getting closer to the center; the hedges were becoming wilder and more overgrown. Some even had thorns growing on them.

Ambrose stopped. Behind him he heard another set of footsteps stop just after his had. Slowly, casually, he set Emmily down, at the same time drawing out his Crystal Rapier. He paused, then spun on the spot, his sword slicing through the air. The black-clothed being that had been following him backstepped, avoiding the blade with ease.

Ambrose squinted at the figure before him. It was a slim creature that appeared human but was almost certainly not. It was dressed in a cross between a straitjacket and a black prison jumpsuit. Its hair was long and matted, but Ambrose could still see its yellow slit-pupil eyes.

"So, what are you?" he asked it.

It licked its lips with a forked tongue. "Need I tell you?"

"Yellow eyes, slit pupils, forked tongue... a demon puppy?"

Its eyes flashed dangerously. "I'm hungry," it replied simply.

Ambrose grinned. The feeling of deep, insatiable hunger was returning. "So am I," he said. "A DUEL!"

Before either of them could react, however, Emmily sat bolt upright, her eyes glassy and unseeing, and screamed, "GIVE IT BACK!"

She fainted again, flopping lifelessly onto the ground.

Both of them stared at her prone form, then looked at each other. "What did you do?" Ambrose said in an annoyed tone.

"Just ate her heart," the Snake replied, an unnaturally wide smile stretching his features. "Nothing personal, it's just... what I do."

The grin froze on his face as his head rolled off his neck and hit the ground. Blood spurted from his neck as his decapitated body fell forward, looking only slightly more dead than Emmily.

"Bastard," Ambrose muttered. He stepped on the head, crushing it to memory shards, which swirled into his eyes. The body followed.

Emmily sat up, looking disoriented. "What—?" she said, looking around. She saw Ambrose and comprehension dawned on her face. "Why you..."

"Hello, dearie," Ambrose said cheerily. "Never fear, we seem to be nearing dusk."

As the sun set on Wonderland, the ghostly forms of eight people swooped back to the west, toward their home state of Evillious.

"Did you do anything nasty?" the kimono girl asked, winking at the tall man.

"Very," he said, looking over at the tired woman, who was snoring. They drifted off into the distance.

A strange feeling came over the five Alices. Jace sat up, fuming, as Mary shook her head and wondered why she was half undressed. Corbin got a sudden pain in his head, but it no longer bothered him. Nothing bothered him.

Emmily blinked, then looked back at Ambrose. He smiled faintly, looking rather absent. "Well, that's over," he said. "Stand up. This is the part where we try not to die."


End file.
